B's Story: Foster care has shaped me for the better

I have been in foster care for nearly 11 years. I went into foster care from a young age so I can’t remember many details, but I do remember the various primary schools I attended and the different areas I experienced living in. I remember going to stay with the Morgan’s who I lived with until the end of year 7 of secondary school, I was able to attend a grammar school there where I completed my GCSE’s, which I did well in.

I then moved in with my current carers who I am still with, I was able to attend a grammar school here where I completed my GCSE’s, which I did well in. They have supported me, and because I have done well here, I am staying and will be soon completing my A Levels. There are many highs and lows about being in foster care, but I like to focus on the highs I have been through which includes doing well in school and at cadets.

Of course, you cannot have your highs without your lows and those were hard, like not being able to be with my mum, not knowing my family that well, and never getting to know my dad. I have moved around a fair bit but not as much as others and being in care is one of the general lows I have also experienced. This can also be classed as a high for me as being in care has enabled me to achieve some things which I do not think I would have managed to do without being in care. I cannot say for certain I would be doing as well as I am now without it.

I have many proud moments but there is one that really stands out for me which is when I went to Holland to take part in the Nijmegen Marches. I trained and prepared for the march all year and it was great to go to Holland and be a part of something so unique that a lot of people can’t say they have done. 

For anyone reading this who might be in foster care too, my advice would be to not to try and fit stereotypes of what people expect kids in care to be like. Try and be a nice person, be yourself and don’t let anyone change you, but most importantly don’t let being care make you become someone you aren’t, as it shouldn’t shape you. It is just another hurdle in your life that you must overcome and ultimately no one wants to be in care. The best of the bad situation I’d have to say is probably the fact that I have been able to grow up in a stable home and I have matured into a decent person which might not have happened if I had not been in care.

In the future, I am hoping to continue my education and go to university to either study a maths-based degree or engineering. My other goals are to hopefully join the Royal Marines or the RAF. The help from my carers over the years has been great with some being better than the others but overall, they all helped to shape me into a nice person and taught me the basic skills I would need in life. FosterCare UK have helped me in my development too, by attending some of the events they used to host, I was able to meet others in the same situation as me and I realised I wasn’t the only one.