11th July, 2024
We were so thrilled when foster carer Saiqa agreed to allow us into her home to talk about her fostering journey. We talked about many things but one thing was clear throughout all of our discussion, for Saiqa fostering is very much a family affair.
Saiqa, along with her husband, has been fostering for fifteen years. As well as having five birth children they also have two foster children living with them plus a young person in a staying put arrangement. It certainly is a house filled with much love and laughter.
Perhaps the desire to have a lively household isn’t that surprising for Saiqa, both her and her husband come from large families, and it seems a family trait to want to help others, as Saiqa’s parents are also foster carers. In fact, it was even a family friend who suggested that she should foster in the first place. However, it is this huge support network which Saiqa says is key to success when fostering.
“We love being foster carers. We love everything about fostering.”
Having a large support network isn’t the only key to success, Saiqa also feels passionately about having her own children involved.
“My children have always been part of the fostering journey. They’ve always been involved in everything. Welcoming the new children, going on holiday and getting involved in activities. They have ideas, and we always take them onboard – they’re part of it. We’re one big happy family!”
That family feel is evident in Saiqa’s household, and it’s clear there is no distinction between her birthchildren and the foster children – everyone is treated as an equal.
We asked Saiqa about how she meets the needs of the children…
“We give them love. The care, the home, the atmosphere of a loving family.”
Love is certainly evident in Saiqa’s relationships with her previous foster children, as she maintains contact with most of them. For her the most rewarding part of her role is the pride she feels when she sees her children thrive.
“When you see that positive change… it just makes me so proud.”
She believes that to foster you must have a loving heart, with an open mind to be able to welcome children who have been through a tough time and give them a home. It’s important to give the children time, speak to them, while also giving them some space.
“Slowly, slowly, they start to feel better. We show them our love, our home, our family, our food, our culture. Everything.”
When she first started fostering fifteen years ago, Saiqa told us that it was less common to be a Muslim foster carer. However, now there is a growing demand for foster carers from the Muslim community.
“A lot of birth parents (of Muslim heritage) who’ve had their children taken into care have asked that they be matched to Muslim foster carers as they better understand that child’s culture.”
Saiqa made an interesting point about showing respect towards the birth parents and their wishes. After all, making sound cultural matches creates less upheaval for the child.
Hardly anyone ever talks about this side of fostering, however, it is an important one.
“Working with birth parents, that’s a very important part of fostering as well. We get to meet them on visits, and I always make an effort to speak to them. They like to know that their child is in a good place and safe.”
However, often the children who come to stay with Saiqa will end up calling her Mum or Auntie, and she is happy to be that family for them. She told us,
“You have to have the passion to do what’s best for the child.”
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